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Write an Email prompt

Order Issue: Incorrect Laptop Received

Every scored sample answer Reach120 publishes for this prompt, banded so you can see the range rather than one version of "good".

3 sample answersComplaint

The prompt

As it appears in practice

You recently purchased a laptop from an online electronics store, but the laptop you received is not the model you ordered. You need to contact the store to resolve this issue.

What the response has to do

  • Provide your order number
  • Explain the difference between the model you ordered and the one you received
  • Request instructions on how to return the incorrect laptop and receive the correct one

Written to: customer-service

Sample answers, by band

3 published

Reach120 practice band estimate — not an official ETS score How we estimate

Strong response

Band 5.04.0/5 rubric
To
support@electronmart.com
Subject
Order Issue: Incorrect Laptop Received
Dear Support at Electronmart, I hope you are doing well, and I apologize for disturbing you. Recently, I ordered a laptop online from your website. However, the laptop I received is not the version I bought. My order number is 123456. The design that I chose was new, and the type I received was from last year. Could you give me more information about how I can return the incorrect laptop? Also, I would like to exchange it for the correct model. Thank you for your time and attention. Best Regards, [name withheld].
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Strong response

Band 5.04.0/5 rubric
To
support@electronmart.com
Subject
Order Issue: Incorrect Laptop Received
Dear customer team, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to bring to your attention an issue regarding my laptop purchase. I placed the order seven days ago, and my transaction number is 888-777-TKS. Today, I received my package and discovered that your staff sent me the wrong product. I ordered the new-generation A50 laptop featuring state-of-the-art AI technology; however, your team sent me the A40 instead. This issue is adversely affecting my coursework and study activities. I would appreciate it if you could rectify this issue at your earliest convenience. Additionally, please let me know the procedure for returning the incorrect laptop and receiving the correct one. sincerely, [name withheld]

What worked

  • Clear purpose
  • Detailed explanation
  • Request for action

What cost points

  • Capitalization error
  • Lack of syntactic variety
Read the full feedback on this answer

Middle response

Band 4.53.5/5 rubric
To
support@electronmart.com
Subject
Order Issue: Incorrect Laptop Received
Dear customer service team, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to bring to your attention an issue regarding my laptop purchase. I placed the order seven days ago and my transaction number is 555-444-TKS. Today, I received my package and discovered that your staff sent me the wrong product and does not match my order. I ordered new- generation A50 laptop with featuring state-of-art AI technology; however, your team send me A40 device instead and this discrepancy adversely affecting my study coursework and activities. I would appreciate if you could rectify into this problem at your earliest convenience. Additionally please tell me the procedure returning the incorrect model and send me the correct one. Sincerely, [name withheld]
Read the full feedback on this answer

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