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Write an Email prompt

Incorrect Laptop Model Received

Every scored sample answer Reach120 publishes for this prompt, banded so you can see the range rather than one version of "good".

3 sample answersComplaint

The prompt

As it appears in practice

You recently purchased a laptop from an online electronics store but received the wrong model. You need to write an email to the customer service department to resolve this issue.

What the response has to do

  • Explain the issue with the laptop model received
  • Provide details of your original order
  • Request instructions on how to return the incorrect item and receive the correct one

Written to: customer-service

Sample answers, by band

3 published

Reach120 practice band estimate — not an official ETS score How we estimate

Strong response

Band 5.04.0/5 rubric
To
support@electroshop.com
Subject
Incorrect Laptop Model Received
Dear customer service department, I hope this email finds you well. My name is [name withheld]. I am writing regarding my recent order. I recently purchased a laptop from an online electronics store but received the wrong model. I ordered a new model. My order number is 111-111. I would greatly appreciate it if you couldinform me about the procedure on how to return the incorrect item and receive the correct one. Your assistance in this matter would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response at your earliest convenience. Best regards, [name withheld]
Read the full feedback on this answer

Middle response

Band 4.53.5/5 rubric
To
support@electroshop.com
Subject
Incorrect Laptop Model Received
Dear Sir or Madam, I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to complain about receiving the wrong laptop model, which I recently purchased from your store. The order number is TP123546. The model I orderd was supposed to have a larger Ram size and an RTX graphics card instead of a GTX one, which I really need for my redering work. I would greatly appreciate it if you could inform me bout the exchange process so that I can return the incorrect item and receive the correct one. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to your response. Best regards, [name withheld]

What worked

  • Clear identification of the issue
  • Order details provided
  • Polite tone

What cost points

  • Spelling error
  • Lack of elaboration
Read the full feedback on this answer

Middle response

Band 4.03.0/5 rubric
To
support@electroshop.com
Subject
Incorrect Laptop Model Received
Dear customer servic, I hope your fine and doing well, Iam writing to bring to your attention a problem with my recently purchased. I expected to receive the state-of-the-art A50 module; however, your staff member sent me the wrong device, the A40 module. I ordered the A50 laptop, which is equipped with an AI system and cutting-edge technology, allowing me to perform my tasks more efficiently. I would appreciate it if this issue could be resolved as soon as possible by providing me with the correct model. sincerly, [name withheld],

What worked

  • Clear identification of the issue
  • Details of the original order
  • Polite tone

What cost points

  • Lack of request for return instructions
  • Grammatical errors
Read the full feedback on this answer

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