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Write an Email prompt

Registration for Leadership Workshop

Every scored sample answer Reach120 publishes for this prompt, banded so you can see the range rather than one version of "good".

3 sample answersInquiry

The prompt

As it appears in practice

You are a university student interested in attending the 'Leadership in the Digital Era' workshop organized by the Campus Innovation Club. The workshop is scheduled for November 15, 2023, from 10 AM to 4 PM in Room 402 of the Student Union Building. The registration deadline is November 1, 2023, and there is a $15 registration fee. You need to confirm your participation and inquire about any materials you need to bring.

What the response has to do

  • Confirm your registration for the workshop
  • Ask about the payment method for the registration fee
  • Inquire about whether any materials or equipment are required for the workshop

Written to: administration

Sample answers, by band

3 published

Reach120 practice band estimate — not an official ETS score How we estimate

Strong response

Band 5.04.0/5 rubric
To
info@campusinnovationclub.edu
Subject
Registration for Leadership Workshop
Dear registration team member I hope this messages finds you well. I am writing to inquire about the confirmation of my registration for the workshop and I am particularly interested in this opportunity because it would allow me to gain valuable hands-on experience for my future career. Additionally, I would appreciate it if you could provide more information regarding the available payment methods, as I only have a PayPal card. Could you please let me know whether this payment method is accepted? Finally, I would appreciate it if you could let me know which tools and materials are required for the workshop.Thank you for your time and consideration.

What worked

  • Clear purpose
  • Polite tone
  • Specific inquiry

What cost points

  • Informal greeting
  • Lack of sophisticated language
Read the full feedback on this answer

Strong response

Band 5.04.0/5 rubric
To
info@campusinnovationclub.edu
Subject
Registration for Leadership Workshop
Dear Registration Team, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to inquire about the confirmation of my registration for the workshop. I am eager to participate in this workshop, as I have been looking forward to this opportunity for approximately two years. I believe that attending this workshop will contribute significantly to my personal and professional development. Additionally, I would like to inquire about the available payment methods for the registration. I would appreciate it if you could let me know which types of payment cards you accept. Finally, I would like to know what types of materials and tools are required for the workshop. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely, [name withheld]

What worked

  • Clear purpose
  • Professional tone
  • Effective inquiry

What cost points

  • Lack of specificity
  • Repetitive structure
Read the full feedback on this answer

Middle response

Band 4.53.5/5 rubric
To
info@campusinnovationclub.edu
Subject
Registration for Leadership Workshop
Dear Campus Innovation Club staff, I hope you are doing well. As a student who is interested in the upcoming 'Leadership in the Digital Era' workshop, I write this email to confirm that will participate in this session. Alongside my anticipation, I have a few questions. First, I have informed that the registration fee is $15; however, I cannot find any informations about the payment method. Could you please clarify me if the fee should be made in advance or on the day of the seminar. Second, I was wondering if you could let me know whether any materials or equipment are required for the workshop. If yes, which kind of materials or equipment should I bring? Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, [name withheld].

What worked

  • Polite and professional tone
  • Clear expression of intent
  • Expresses gratitude

What cost points

  • Missing subject in a sentence
  • Incorrect plural form
Read the full feedback on this answer

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